Citește acest articol în română aici.
Reading time: 9 minutes
Depression is like a weight; it is a disorder of the body, mind, and soul. When we find harmony between these three, emerging from depression no longer seems impossible.
What Depression Means to Me
The word „depression” comes from the Latin word depressio and translates as „pressing down,” „oppression,” or „constraint.” Indeed, as far as I am concerned, I feel depression as a weight pressing on my shoulders, making me feel like Sisyphus in the permanent effort to carry it. It is the burden of a past I cannot accept because it is too full of suffering. To this is added the burden of the present, in which I feel constrained by a lack of clarity, vitality, and will. Then comes the conclusion: „If the past is only suffering, and in the present I feel powerless, then the future will be just as bleak.”
Nothing brings me pleasure anymore: not the attention of my family, nor books, nor walks in nature, nor my attempts to reach God through prayer. Then I think there is something wrong with me. I look around and see that others have „normal” lives, that they are animated by a certain purpose in life. For me, everything is unclear, „grey,” or even „black.”
Depression robs you of the ability to choose. You feel caught between an innate vulnerability and your own powerlessness to change anything for the better in your life, because everything seems equally meaningless, even if you sometimes do things with an effort that exhausts you.
Is it an innate inability to adapt to a normal life? Even prayer no longer seems to help me. Have I done something so wrong that I am being punished, or is my faith so weak that it no longer reaches God?
What is reflected outwardly in the case of depression is often translated as a weakness of character, because you cannot meet the standards that people set for you or you cannot handle the fierce competition to secure your own place in society.
How Scientists View Depression
A first step toward growth was taken when I admitted to myself that I could not escape the vicious circle of depression alone. I know that God also works through people; therefore, I turned to specialists in psychology and psychiatry who told me that depression is a hereditary vulnerability, and that childhood life conditions have intensified this vulnerability.
I tried to understand the mechanism of this vulnerability in the hope that understanding would give me clarity and purpose. We all have bad days, moments of weakness, despair, or sadness, but depression is different from these fleeting states.
Thus, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), prepared by the American Psychiatric Association, clinical depression (or major depressive disorder) is a medical condition characterized by a profound, persistent mood in which at least five of the following symptoms are present:
- feelings of sadness, emptiness, or despair;
- marked loss of interest or pleasure in almost all activities;
- significant weight loss or gain without dieting;
- difficulty falling asleep or sleeping too much;
- a persistent feeling of fatigue;
- feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, or unjustified guilt;
- difficulty concentrating;
- thoughts of death or suicidal ideation.
If these symptoms persist for more than two weeks and affect social, family, or other areas of functioning, then one can speak of depression as a medical condition.
Regarding the factors that cause depression, according to the DSM-5, they are grouped into three categories:
- Biological: Depression is the result of an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, such as serotonin or dopamine. Also, according to genetics, depression is more likely to occur if there are first-degree relatives with severe depression.
- Psychological: A pessimistic, negative, and/or self-critical way of thinking can lead to depression. A lack of healthy coping mechanisms for stress or traumatic events can increase vulnerability.
- Social or Environmental: Loss, abuse, trauma, or stressful life events (divorce, job loss). Social isolation is another environmental factor, as the lack of a social support network, feelings of loneliness, or interpersonal conflicts can contribute to depression. Another important factor is the socio-economic situation; poverty, unemployment, or financial insecurity are often associated with an increased risk of depression.
Medication and Psychotherapy
The picture of depression is very complex. A combination of factors and symptoms led me, too, to seek the help of specialists. Due to disturbances in energy and concentration, depression has often given me an acute sense of a lack of control over my own life. It is very difficult to define depression in one’s own words because, even though the intellect observes that there is a disorder in the organism, it finds itself powerless to describe it.
There were moments when the lack of control was so acute that the necessity of medication became evident. Only when I reached a „level surface” was I able to consider that psychotherapy could offer me solutions. The psychotherapy sessions gave me a sense of empowerment and hope—the hope that there exists within me, in a latent state, the ability to choose what I do and what I think, and to gain relative control over my own life. Another effect of psychotherapy was an increase in awareness and a sense of being anchored in the present.
Body, Mind, Soul
„The soul is the crowning of humanity.”
Scientists generally distinguish between the body and the mind to address various disorders and imbalances within the organism. Although medication and psychotherapy helped me, I felt it wasn’t enough—that something else was needed to reach a state of balance. Alongside body and mind, many Christian authors add the soul. The soul is the crowning of humanity. This is what I have always needed to acquire meaning and purpose in life.
Could God be indifferent to our sufferings? In the agony of the Garden of Gethsemane, even Jesus recoiled from suffering before accepting the Father’s will. I have often thought that suffering is something sacred, something one should not touch. If God allows it, He does so with a purpose. If this is the price we must pay to reach a deeper understanding of life, then there is no use in rebelling. Suffering makes us more empathetic, more capable of responding to the needs of others. Suffering makes us see our own finitude, to understand that we are not alone in the universe and that we are not the masters of the universe.
The direct connection with God through prayer has often brought me a sense of peace. The purpose of prayer is not just to ask for help, even though God is the one most able to help us in life’s difficulties. However, there is a much nobler purpose, namely to live in a much higher reality. Beyond prayer, God asks us to live in community. „For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them,” says Jesus. Participating in the Liturgy, in communal prayers, and meditating on biblical texts have been sources of consolation and spiritual enrichment.
Both Science and Faith
„Christian wisdom and human wisdom are two pillars we need to find our balance.”
My depressive states have often put me in situations where I felt discriminated against in various social groups. In the doctor and the psychologist, I found understanding and constructive solutions. Therefore, I am convinced that God works through people who have studied the issue of depression for years and can offer answers to many of my problems. And where they no longer have answers, Christian wisdom steps in, offering us human dignity and liberation from the slavery of negativity. Christian wisdom and human wisdom are two pillars we need to find our balance.
The path to healing never ends. Science is constantly evolving, given the complexity of life. Let us understand that God would never have allowed scientists to discover so many things about human nature if these things were not for our benefit. Therefore, let us trust that God works through an infinity of ways to heal us. My spiritual hero, the Catholic Bishop Robert Barron, used to say that the most precious thing we can ask of God is not social status, nor money, nor power, nor health, but the most precious thing is the capacity for discernment. If you have the capacity for discernment, you know what to do with social status, with money, with power and, finally, you know how to take care of your health as well.
Emerging from the Darkness. How do you reach the light?
If depression feels like the end of the road, it means your brain no longer has the internal resources to cope with life’s situations. This is the moment to surround yourself with well-intentioned people who know, at the very least, how to listen or guide you toward someone who can help. We were not made to live like deserted islands, and if we need help, it is because we are human and we are limited.
The slavery of negative thoughts, powerlessness, isolation, confusion, psychological pain, frustration, alienation, guilt, lack of meaning and purpose, fear, hatred of self and others—all of these make up the dense fog and the darkness of depression. However, there must be someone we can tell that we need help: a family member, a doctor, a psychologist, a priest, a friend, or a colleague. Above all, though, let us have the faith that God Himself came down to earth to set us free from darkness. If we are children of God, then let us listen to what Saint Paul the Apostle said: „You are all children of the light and children of the day.”
Lasă un comentariu